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Tom White's avatar

Brilliant, as always, Sherry! I wrote about this here in my Dirge for Detritus:

"All that stuff used to be money.

All that money used to be time.

All that time used to be opportunity.

All that opportunity used to be energy.

All that energy used to be potential.

All that potential used to be dreams.

All those dreams used to be yours."

Now, they’ve come down from the clouds and turned into clutter."

https://www.whitenoise.email/p/a-dirge-for-detritus

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Ankush Cholia's avatar

This is amazing

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Tom White's avatar

Thank you!

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Zypn's avatar

Wow I’m speechless

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Tom White's avatar

Thank you!

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Hyggieia's avatar

Wow this is phenomenal

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Tom White's avatar

Thank you!

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ui's avatar

I love this, Tom!

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Colin's avatar

Also like that poem (if it was shorter it'd hit harder imo)

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Melissa Sandfort's avatar

Epic poem Tom!

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Tom White's avatar

Thank you!

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David Ransil's avatar

This is why the movie "Barbie" struck a deep, subconscious chord with its audience. Toys like Barbie don't teach kids reasoning, or a skill; they get them addicted to the temporary dopamine hit of the Shiny New Object. So they'll grow up believing if they just own the right brand clothing, jewelry, handbags, shoes, car etc. they’ll be “happy.” Only to discover a life devoted to mindless acquisition leaves them hollow and empty. Barbie had “all the right stuff;” the house, car, outfits, accessories – EVERYTHING. But she had no relationships deeper than “Hi, Barbie!”, no bond with Ken, who’s supposed to be her boyfriend; the sand was fake, the waves, cardboard – her entire world and identity were as fake as the plastic she's made from. So in the movie, Barbieland came to symbolize the false promise of materialism – a world where having everything means nothing. In the end, Barbie realizes – and this is a metaphor – that to become a Real Person, to find what it means to be a Real Woman, she has to LEAVE Barbieland, to go out into the Real World to find a life of meaning. She was the most "desirable" Barbie of all – a toy whose body proportions no human woman could ever achieve, whose endless possessions almost no real woman could ever accumulate, because the goal line keeps moving – this year it’s THESE clothes and THOSE shoes and THAT handbag that are in fashion. Barbie made young children yearn to be what they could never be, but grow up buying, buying, buying in an attempt to achieve the unattainable. So a story about THE iconic toy that started children down this path, in which that very toy ultimately has to LEAVE that fake world to become "Real" was the ideal vehicle for this message. Barbie herself gave viewers "permission" to leave false, materialistic values behind. People who believe their significance is tied to their possessions hated the movie. But vast numbers of viewers found it to have a very freeing, liberating, encouraging message. Which just crawled out from beneath the woodwork, without beating anyone over the head. Its “point” was simply the organic result of the story; a deceptively-deep story of Self Discovery that registered just below the realm of conscious awareness. Which is why it struck such a powerful, subconscious chord with viewers.

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Cecile Somers-Lee's avatar

Yes. “This year it’s THESE clothes and THOSE shoes and THAT handbag that are in fashion.” And that’s how we’ve ended up here and (guilty as charged) how we realize we’ve been chasing distractions all our life, and wasting good money in the process. Though I never played with or owned a Barbie doll, I nonetheless fell for the chase of New Shiny Objects. At 62, having purchased yet another pair of sneakers yesterday, I hope I have finally seen the light & got the message. Thank you for stating it so clearly!

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Ames Laity's avatar

This is a great point! In Barbieland, even the concept of changing one'w beliefs is represented by material things--Birkenstocks in that case 😮

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Gina Gerardi's avatar

An older version of this trope, albeit not identical, is The Velveteen Rabbit.

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Luna's avatar

Wow wow wow

I am your fan .. please write more posts. I want to hear more of your thoughts

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Luna's avatar

Wow wow wow

I am your fan .. please write more posts. I want to hear more of your thoughts

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Luna's avatar

Wow wow wow

I am your fan .. please write more posts. I want to hear more of your thoughts

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John Yi's avatar

I really love this inquiry, and sat with it for 24hrs before commenting because I wasn’t sure what troubled me about it.

I’m not yet 100% sure, but I think it’s something like this: I don’t think it’s about lacking values per se. I think someone with strong values can still make decisions about consumption that are not well calibrated with their objective needs.

What I think is more likely the culprit when someone overconsumes, is a lack of value (not a lack of values).

When I have not valued myself, that is, believed myself to be valuable, I have tried inadvertently to be valuable by gaining (and therefore being associated with) things of value.

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Milana Starr.'s avatar

If it’s not about lacking values but rather not having value (or believing so rather) then what you’re saying is your values were flimsy at best and not truly your own at worst. This idea of calibration makes her argument stronger bc how is it not lack if they’re so easily thrown aside for the sake of perception?

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John Yi's avatar

Hmm. I don’t think that’s what I meant.

I think there’s an important difference between what I believe in (my values) and whether I believe in (value) myself or not.

If I don’t value myself, even if I value many other things with great clarity, I think I will likely still overconsume.

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Wanda E.'s avatar

I really like this train of that. Value vs values, but I do think that our values create our idea of value.

For instance, if my value is “to love my neighbor as myself”, and I truly hold it as a value, I would then begin to value my own time, care, physical, emotional, and financial well being more appropriately.

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Carla's avatar

Spot on!

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Ashley's avatar

On the flip side, not being materialistic at all can be a problem. For years, I had an ugly, plain apartment. I had a very small, uninspired wardrobe. I didn’t feel confident in my clothes. I lived in a state of self-denial. I was just too frugal. So now I’m trying to lighten up and occasionally buy a beautiful dress or painting. I think the key is to be intentional with your purchases.

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Chad's avatar
Sep 12Edited

No. You are just finally succumbing to the endless marketing machinery deployed at you.

No beautiful dresses or paintings are necessary for anyone to live a fulfilling life.

And even if they were, possessing these things is not required.

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Ari Karlsson's avatar

Necessary no, but they can absolutely prompt joy and be an extension of self expression. Clothing can affect how a person feels and what they convey to others. Having a warm inviting space will affect a person's spirit too...color affects mood, having nature around, a clean space, etc.

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Dami Bee's avatar

I agree, an appreciation for beauty is human nature, and also stems from feminine energy, the natural world and creation. There’s a difference between acquiring a beautiful work of art or garment, and enjoying them forever, keeping them in good condition and maybe even passing them down. Completely different energy to mindless consumption which is shallow.

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Chad's avatar

If this were the case so many people wouldn't be complaining about feeling anxious or empty. Pretending there is something spiritual about consuming consumer goods is crazy.

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Potato's avatar

So true. No one ever made beautiful dresses or paintings or art or aesthetic things in pre-capitalist societies. People never drew elaborate artwork on cave walls. Native Americans never created headdresses or bead necklaces that didn't serve a practical purpose, or paint their tepees.

That's been the greatest discovery of historians to date, really. Until around the 1700s, things created by all societies were made to maximally serve a practical purpose and did not differ in visual design whatsoever.

Numerous studies have shown that people are just as happy living in gray concrete boxes with bare walls as they are living in cozy homes with colored walls, paintings, arched windows, etc. This explains why all precapitalist societies constructed their homes so similarly (undecorated boxes), with no variations in architecture save for the materials available for construction.

It's fine that you have a lower sensitivity than the average person to visual aesthetics. But it's stupid to project your low-sensitivity to these things onto everyone else and assume they must be held mentally captive by an "endless marketing machine". Even you have a bar, clearly: why do you have a green shirt? Why not grey, or black, or white? Are all your shirts green? Why do you have multiple colors of shirt? Surely it would be more expedient and easier to just buy all your shirts in one color, in the exact same style, from the same manufacturer that you've found provides the highest quality at the lowest price.

As someone who only wears the exact same gray shirt and shorts/pants every single day, I really worry for people like you, who have yet to awaken to their entrapment in empty materialism and marketing.

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Catholic Savage's avatar

Potato - that was brilliant. Well played.

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Chad's avatar

Nothing like an incoherent, five paragraph, self-contradictory dissertation to tell you exactly how someone's life is going.

Oof. 🙄

Good luck.

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Maureen Mehlman's avatar

Incoherent? No, it was brilliant. It spoke clearly to many people and narrates an age-old human dilemma. It is a story of awakening to oneself and the existential tug of war we all face. We will all eventually be gone and forgotten. Clinging to stuff that surrounds us as if it were some kind of life-raft that can save us from that inevitable conclusion that is our very mortal coil. It is the animal instinct to survive what is not survivable. An artist cannot contain their creativity. They are compelled to express that in some form or another. Not all artists are Michelangelo's or Mozart's yet their drive comes from the same wellspring. Even your local high-school art classes have some very talented kids. Some will go on to become artists, some will find that other talents steer their journeys like into engineering, architecture or science. We can all appreciate a fine work of art or, even more satisfying, a breathtaking landscape. God is the ultimate artist. Every flower, however brief its life, is a work of art. Its another way in which we are an image of that creator. Creativity is a divinely inspired spark in most of us mere mortals.

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Ashley's avatar

I can spend my money however I want. If you want a boring, lifeless, utilitarian home and wardrobe, more power to you

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Chad's avatar

Spoken like someone struggling with immaturity.

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Maureen Mehlman's avatar

Spoken like a smug, arrogant narcissist.

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Marshmint's avatar

So we are all to live in grey cells? Buying a painting to decorate our homes for example is not "succumbing to marketing" otherwise there would be no need for artists. You have swung the pendulum too far in a ridiculous way.

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Maureen Mehlman's avatar

And it's an ignorant, un-human argument. Mankind has exemplified creative expression for centuries. The Cistine chapel and the Renaissance began well before the 1700's. Certain societies have been known for their lavish, ornate constructions, art, music and clothing for over a millennium. Not that such indulgence ever produced an elevated spirituality or morality. We are creative by nature. We sculpt, paint, draw, write and build out our very souls. The problem is in attaching our self worth to those creations. They are merely expressions, once expressed, are no longer part of us.

This is an enormous topic. It is entirely relevant to our very existence, collectively and individually.

Well done.

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La Libanaise Minimaliste's avatar

We should normalize asking a new acquaintance “who are you? What are your core values?” Instead of “what do you do for work?”

Making the interaction more human and less about money and status.

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Cowboy Sun's avatar

I was literally thinking about this as I read the post! I forget what culture does this but I feel like I read one time that it’s customary when people date within this certain culture that they talk first about their hobbies, passions and side projects and tend to leave what they do for a living towards the end.

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La Libanaise Minimaliste's avatar

Interesting! I don’t know maybe Scandinavians? But also, I love how Italians ask “Che fai de bello” which literally translates to what pretty things do you do, for when asking about someone’s life and interests… I think it’s beautiful!

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Cowboy Sun's avatar

It is and I wish it was common everywhere :)

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Patrick M. Lydon's avatar

Knowing your highest values and learning to step away from the stuff that distracts you from those values. Really good writing and thinking, Sherry.

It's been at least a decade since I last watched Spirited Away. Good excuse to see it again!

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Phyllis's avatar

It’s always been on my to-watch list and I never saw it. I’m definitely watching it this weekend!

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Lew's avatar

As someone struggling with an actual shopping addiction, this is a perfect description of how it feels. The addiction is in how it feels in the journey, not the destination. This feels like tough love that is very much needed!

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Katherine K's avatar

I love Spirited Away and adore Studio Ghibli. This perspective is WONDERFUL and really gives words to describe the character of NoFace who is at worst painted as a character and a bland hungry monster. Thank you, for putting words to this and connecting this with such a 21st-century problem and yet a deep human desire in all of us! I often notice that purchases I consider and sometimes make more than I want to, are aspirational… I believe that owning it will help me become a certain type of person when it's just an object that does not possess that power. I think it also connects to our ability to recognize "enough" and "being" to make those boundaries and be free as you described. Thank you so much for sharing, now I'm gonna go rewatch that movie with this lens in mind 😄

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Kimberly Steele's avatar

"Stronger values make you spend more mindfully because they shift the axis of desire. When you know what you worship—what you actually stand for and who you want to become—everything gets tested against that vision."

Yes, and one of the easiest and most instantaneous-results ways you can spend more mindfully is to start thanking the things you own and the spaces you inhabit. Thanking things and spaces is childish, it is weird, and it is the premise of my upcoming book, Sacred Homemaking, which hypothesizes that the entire world is enchanted and that via recognition of this enchantment, we can amplify the power of good enchantment (there is plenty of evil enchantment floating around) and build protection around ourselves and our homes. As the Druid prayer goes, "and in protection, strength, and in strength, understanding." Only by cultivating the forces of protection can we get to a place of fortitude where understanding of the way things work behind the illusion. Gratitude followed up by diligence and humility is powerful magic. I may be crazy for sweeping my floor and thanking it every morning, for thanking my bed and my bedroom (especially my air conditioner) for helping me sleep, and for cleaning my toilet every night, but if this is crazy, I don't want to be sane. When you appreciate things you have and spaces you occupy, odd things begin to happen. For one, you start treating people better because you are constantly reminded to focus on the goodness within them, just as focusing on the goodness of spaces and objects reorients your mental tendencies. Another benefit is that you spend less, because you are too busy recognizing objects and spaces as more than adequate and beneficial. You stop entertaining the Wendigos that want you to consume, consume, consume until all is ruin. Is it a constant test? Yes. I am always tempted to want nice things just like anyone else. I am a bit more foolproof though because I have cultivated gratitude as a habit.

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Maureen Mehlman's avatar

Wow. I think those are profound ideas that I can very much find in the philosophies of various ancient teachings. From Confucius to Stoicism, Hebrew scriptures to Native American teachings, gratitude and humility are means to breaking the chains/snares of lust and greed.

This was a powerful essay that had spawned some insightful discussions.

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Jabari's avatar

really loved how you tied it back to fight club and that line about possessions owning us… so sharp.

i'm with you on how it’s never really about the object itself… you captured that perfectly. girard calls this “a desire for being,” and lacan would say that “being” is shaped by others, by the symbols around us… so the chase never ends because it isn’t really ours to begin with.

krishnamurti might take it even further… seeing the whole urge to become as the trap itself.

your piece really made me sit with how easily desire can blur into identity… and how rare it is to even notice when that’s happening.

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Sidd's avatar

An eye opener in today’s time, find your inner-self, detached from the possessions you think bring real value & fame to you.

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savannah's avatar

I just want to say how much I enjoyed the way this piece opened. It didn’t feel like a “formal intro” but more like stepping into someone’s thought mid-stream, which honestly made me want to keep reading right away. That style creates such intimacy, like the reader is being trusted to catch up and be part of something already in motion. It gave the whole essay this immediacy that felt refreshing.

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Sherry Ning's avatar

❤️❤️

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Maureen Mehlman's avatar

Yes. This is the first time time I've read this substack and yeah, it's engaging in the deepest, most intimate way. She is quite gifted. I like studio Ghibli and watch it because of my now-adult autistic daughter who has been a great connection to such modern enterprises.

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Priyadarshini Mukherjee's avatar

This is genuinely the best article I've read on substack till now. Consider my mind, blown.

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Nostalgicgirl's avatar

This is one of the greatest essays I’ve had read while on this platform. In times where consumerism is consuming us, we need reality checks like this, realizing buying things and giving up to lust is key to break this bubble of "construction of ourselves” when in fact, we are destroying and devaluing ourselves. Amazing work!

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Natalie's avatar

Reminds me: I was having a conversation with someone the other day, and it become clear that he was making convenience into a main value in his life. But what kind of way is that to live? It may be easy, but it’s certainly lacking any kind of enduring substance.

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Paolo Peralta's avatar

Damn this is good 👍

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