Sherry Ning

Sherry Ning

SELF-ESTEEM 101

Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray. Everything that you want you already are.

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Sherry Ning
Oct 09, 2025
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This is from my inbox askingsherry@gmail.com, where I pick questions to answer in my column SOLICITED ADVICE. This one’s from a first-year university student (paraphrased): “how do I become who I am meant to be?”

SOLICITED ADVICE is for paid readers only…because…well, it’s solicited duh


Self-esteem is one of those terms used so ubiquitously that it no longer means anything; it’s prescribed for every ailment of the psyche, like how “stay hydrated” and “go work out” are generally good health advice that don’t target anything in particular, yet, being chronically dehydrated or fat can be the root problem for everything.

Self-esteem, today, roughly means “I feel good about myself”, but I think it really means something like “I trust that I can do the things I want to do” or “I have faith in my ability to not disappoint myself”. Confidence is your self-evaluated competency more than it is about fulfilment or contentment.

Self-esteem = intuition + accountability

A rough table of contents:

  • What is intuition? How is knowing different from believing?

    • What is perception? The ass cheek theory of knowing.

  • How to listen to both instinct and intellect: when feelings are the facts.

  • What does it mean to love yourself? The moral weight of doing the dishes.

  • How to trust yourself more—you are what you do, not what you say you’ll do.

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