How close should you hold your friends?

Thoughts on proximity from an old college story

At our women’s residence, my friend and I watched Kubrick’s A Clockwork Orange in the small private library that smelled like oak, where all the books were hardbound and in wonderful condition because no one really touched them since the day they were donated by our wealthy neighbors. We sat side by side at one of the long desks, a bowl of popcorn between us. We watched on a laptop but that made it easier to hide it from the strict Catholic house rules. We watched the whole thing without saying a word.

That would be the first of many clandestine movie nights. (clandestine because our films were all taboo or violent—Lolita, Kill Bill, you get it. God forbid we see boobs.) We bonded over films. Our first Halloween together, I was Mia Wallace and she was Vincent Vega.

Months later, when my dad passed away she didn’t say anything but she gave me the warmest hug. She didn’t need to say anything because I knew she had been there before herself. Even your worst days are only 24 hours.

That’s wh…